I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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