Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
