I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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