you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
