In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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