she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
