I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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