i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
