I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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