hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
