margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
