she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
