Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
