summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
