That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
time to smoke my breakfast
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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