turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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