you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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