Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
