In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
