I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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