Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was like eating out sand paper
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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