i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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