sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
