i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
