I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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