Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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