Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
