She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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