that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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