all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
