Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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