batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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