wanna go halves on a baby?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
