Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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