Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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