Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
