Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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