If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
