yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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