That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
