I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
