Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
