Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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