She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
