i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
