Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
