wanna go halves on a baby?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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