I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
