worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
