We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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